Which Car Should Europe Be MOST Ashamed of?
Ducati Minor
Europeans make claim to be sophisticates with glamour and fine taste, but they've had their fair share of horrid work: the Spanish Inquisition, Hitler, the Ferrari 400. Which Euro car, especially upscale, was the worst of the worst?
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Chris Paukert
Fun question, but one I'll have to think about for a little while. There were a bunch of truly horrible Citroens and Renaults, and Rovers mixed in throughout the years, but they fail the 'especially upscale' criteria. Can the Chrysler TC by Maserati be the winner through guilt-by-association?
Lest I forget, I actually don't mind the angular shape of the Ferrari 400. I know, I know...
Chris Paukert
Editor-In-Chief
Winding Road Magazine // NextAutos
Ducati Minor
It's too easy to dump on the French.
Chris Paukert
If that's the case, then here's the winner:
The Rolls-Royce Camargue. Hideous looking and hideously expensive (well over $500k in inflation-adjusted dollars). It took more than ten years to push somewhere south of 600 copies out of the factory's gates.
Game. Set. Match. Camargue.
Chris Paukert
Editor-In-Chief
Winding Road Magazine // NextAutos
JWBrothers
I had a few different ways that I could go, but since you requested upscale, my first nomination looks like a misshapen red bass. May I present the Queen's own choice, The Daimler SP250.
After the shock wears off from the Daimler, check out this beauty from Portugal. I have no idea what this thing costs, but it makes the Hummer look pretty. WARNING: I've shown the front and back. My second nomination is the UMM Alter... Brought to you by the same people that designed and built the Pope-mobile.
This beautiful car is a German Spyker Spyder. I was in French Lick, Indiana this past weekend looking at a Bugatti, Ferrari's and Lamborghini's. This Spyker was there to be driven and sounded great. It is even better looking in person than in the photo. I show you this to prove that even the best stylists can have an off week. The Spyker D12 concept is below the Spyder.
This D12 looks like it held it's breath until it blew up like a blowfish.
Last (and cheapest) is the brand new Smart Forfour. It is painted to accentuate it's particularly disjointed design. It looks like it's wearing it's underwear on the outside of it's clothes.
There are a lot of others that are dull or stupid, but I vote these as ugliest european designs.
Many Thanks
Jim
Chris Paukert
Jim - I see your photo of the Spyker C8 in Indiana, were you just at the World Class Driving Festival? If so, I'm very sorry that I missed you!
In any case, the Daimler is a solid pick. Just hideous.
Chris Paukert
Editor-In-Chief
Winding Road Magazine // NextAutos
JWBrothers
Yes, I was. My son and I had a great time and took a couple of hundred pictures. I couldn't afford to drive the cars, but it was fun listening to the comments.
One lady mentioned how much she enjoyed learning the paddle shifter. Her compamion said that she should tell her husband because that car was "only" $75K.
I was going to go over to Reese Callaway and tell him how much I liked his cars, but he was on his cell phone for the hour or so that I saw him.
The biggest surprise was how quiet the cars were. The Bugatti was quieter than my car!
Many Thanks
Jim
Anonymous
Pretty much agree on the hideousness of your choices. Just wanted to point out that the Spyker is Dutch not German. Having lived in Amsterdam 3 years I know the Dutch are sensitive about that sort of thing!
JWBrothers
Oops. Musta had a senior moment. Dutch Spyker is correct.
Many Thanks
Jim
Dave B.
peter@dnl-core.net
While I think that the Ami depicted here is not a pretty car by any standards, I think that it gets away with it fairly well. It is unique, and it's not trying to be something it isn't. On that ground, you could safely say that it's so differently ugly that it's starting to look interesting.
And then there are cars that are apparently designed with only function in mind. What they seem to communicate is "if you wanted a car that looked pretty, you should've said so earlier" while shrugging their shoulders. The Land Rover Defender comes to mind, as well as some Volkswagens. I can appreciate that.
A really disgusting car (at least IMHO) is usually a car trying to be something -- and hopelessly falling short. Some of the '70's British cars come to mind, such as the aforementioned Austin Allegro... but also the first-generation Citroën C5, which looked bland and ugly at the same time (which is an accomplishment in itself).
But, but but... the original question was not about how ugly it was, but about how bad it was (of which we Europeans should be ashamed).
Well, here's my vote:
the Citroën GS (introduced in 1970)
On paper, this was a brilliant car, reflecting the genius of Citroën design. It was way ahead of its time, and more innovative than anything else that Citroën had done.
However, once built, it could best be described as "a brilliant design, built from tin foil". Citroën, having spent 10 (ten!) years designing a car for the middle-class segment (and having their initial design nicked by Renault in 1964, having to start from scratch), was close to bankrupcy when the GS went into production. The GS, therefore, went from design to producton way too rapidly. It was by far the most comfortable and at the same time the best handling and braking middle-class car of its time - when it ran. And the flat four (oh, that engine soundtrack!), while seemingly underpowered, was surprisingly quick. Any Alfa driver seeing one of these appearing in their mirror on a twisty bit of road had only one hope: that it would break down or fall apart.
Which it usually did.
And then you had to work on it, which was a horrible, horrible experience. I could tell you stories, but they'd make you vomit.
But if it wouldn't brake down, it would eat any Alfa for breakfast on the twisties. Only to be overtaken again on the first straight stretch, but GS drivers couldn't care less.
Europe should be hugely ashamed of this car. It was potentially the best car in the world, but it was ruined in execution. Citroën has a habit of cocking up potentially brilliant cars in execution, but the GS really takes the cake.
I've owned one. I loved it to bits, but it drove me crazy. The CX that followed was not as far ahead of its time, but in everyday use, infinitely better.
peter
________________
Sorry for language errors and cultural misconceptions - I'm a stoopit forrinner. My daily drive's a Citroën, that should make many things clear ;-)
landman
There are soooo many to choose from
I believe the award should go to this piece of useless junk
Anonymous
Come on now...
Jwyne
Who da heck gave a comment on this whip.....u must be insane!!!!!GET A LIFE...
peter@dnl-core.net
You know what? I agree,
________________
Sorry for language errors and cultural misconceptions - I'm a stoopit forrinner. My daily drive's a Citroën, that should make many things clear ;-)
Dave B.
Renault Avantime and Vel Satis
VictorP
Here is my proposal for the WORST European car...
Jaguar X-Type 2.5, because it gave me so much headaches right from the first month. So, after 5 years, had to get rid of it because the dealer here (in Bangkok) charged me for an oil change of 8 litres even though the spec requires only 6.5; and nobody cares to give me a reasonable answer even after so many enquiries to its offices in the UK and Hong Kong.
chrisrees
Britain is NOT part of Europe, so the RR Camargue is not a car of which Europe ought to be ashamed. Britain... yeah, okay.
canisScot
2CV
End of discussion
Kris
To chrisrees: Britain IS part of Europe. It is NOT part of mainland Europe, but it is part of the European Union and part of the continent of Europe.
I agree that the Ferrari 400 is very bad.
I think that the Maserati Bi-Turbo was AWFUL, however. If you were to judge it based on the best car vs the worst car, I think that this would take the cake.
Peter Lewin
Kris
Britain (you actually mean the UK) is not part of "the continent of Europe", definitely not.
Regards
Anonymous
the new mercedes e class for biting japanese style. I mean did they even look at how similar the GS front is to it?
Oh and the E60 BMW 5 series IMO it still ruined the perfect car.
Anonymous
Britan is part of Europe but not attached to the mainland.........English Channel between England and France is 22 miles of sea....
Britan = England + Scotland + Wales
UK = Northen Ireland + Britan (England + Scotland + Wales)
British Isles = UK(Northen Ireland + Britan (England + Scotland + Wales)) + Ireland + Isle of Man + Jersey + Gurnsey + Isle of Wight and all the other surrounding islands...
Europe = British Isles + all the other 30 or so countries in the main land...
But all in all Europe makes cars ALOT better than America...
embarrased englishman
One does hope that the previous post was not submitted by a fellow Brit.
Spelling is shocking, what?
The Isle of Wight, though a Unitary Authority, is technically part of the County of Hampshire and is therefore part of England [which is, of course, part of Great Britain, the UK and the British Isles]
I see no mention of any of the beautiful Scottish Islands. Best avoid that area this summer I guess?
;-)
George B
The entire Hundai line.
Anonymous
Please show us, on a map of Europe, where Korea is???
tom@tomjonesmot...
I think I just recieved a geography lesson..........
How about a Skoda? Both ugly and inefficient. And let's not forget the DKW....mostly ugly; somewhat inefficient. I have to admit that the French do have a corner on ugly. They should get a new box of crayons, or at least, send someone to designer school.
obertb
Jeez, everyone: shut up. Dave B. ended the discussion with the Citroen Ami. That is the alpha and omega of ugly.
Rick [Cape Town]
Yes... the award should go to the Ciroen Ami. But, then, there's the TRABANT... ouch, that's ugly and smelly! Yuch!
Arque
In the early sixties, I was in charge of picking up a dozen new Amis from the dock in Miami and driving them to our dealership. We took a lot of gas cans, drove to the dock, fueled them up and checked oil and I sent the drivers off...I followed in the last Ami. A few miles later, in the middle of a busy shopping street, I saw lots of police cars with flashing lights in front of me. There were all the Amis stalled in the middle of the street...a HUGE traffic jam! While I was wondering what the hell had happened, my Ami stalled! It turned out that Citroen had wrapped all the air-cooled cylinders in water (and air-) proof paper to stop them rusting during the transatlantic crossing.! Not easily visible under the hood. No instructions telling us this. We pushed them all to the side of the road, pulled off the paper, and after an hour of cooling they all started again and seemed unhurt.
PS...worst car? Trabant and Wartburg! I've driven both....incomparable and unbelievable...though not too upscale!
Topsayer
I thought this would be easy as the derivative Maybach immediately came to mind, but then I remembered the Panamara, a bloated toad of esthetic discord. This is a car that tried to smothered it's feelings with bratwurst and beer until it's cankles rubbed together. It shames all other attempts at ugly and stands alone, the nadir of design. In the future people will speak wistfully about this car, about how back then, back when things were better designers really new how to make ugly.
UMM ALTER
JWBrothers,
You dont't have money to buy a UMM ALTER!!!
JWBrothers
I don't have the money to buy a Daimler SP250 either. Money doesn't determine beauty.
Many Thanks
Jim
Toze
UMM is the best offroad vehicle! Land Rover have very weak transmition. The only advantage of Land Rover is that they sold more, so they are more!
UMM diferencial is Dana44, and LR is made of butter. It's a 90's car. Very fun to drive and very tough offroad.
Best regards.
Toze
Kandiru
ZAZ, the Soviet denizens automotive equivalent of a Geo Metro. It would usually catch on fire if driven above 50kmh for longer than 10 minutes in summer, so late models of this air cooled 2-banger got the ram airs on the fenders and a free fire extinguisher. A Trabant was condidered a substantial upgrade over this vacuum cleaner on wheels.IF the auto world had an xxx, this 23hp underling would be it.
dave_frawley@ho...
It has to be the Austin Alegro. Please do not eat before Googling it unless you are in someone else's house or Starbucks!
Is england really an island? I thought it was part of continental Europe as everyone in Northern Ireland calls it "the mainland"! The british isles only includes Ireland in british Atlases. I think you would find 400m people of Irish descent who would argue that Ireland is not part of the british isles but that's not important right now. Just go look at an Austin Alegro which was made in England, the UK, Britain the mainland whatever and then book yourself into specsavers!
Frawls