In this business, I am privileged enough to drive a lot of different vehicles—on average, about five different cars and trucks a week. And while there is exactly zero consistency day-to-day when it comes to type, price, and so on, one can’t help but compare and contrast certain fundamental features.

Case in point: Keys. For the longest time, twisting a simple metal fillet in a lock cylinder was all it took to open doors, trunks, and start cars. Over the past decade or so, however, the brief has changed. These slivers of cut metal have evolved from rudimentary hardware store implements to multi-functional pocket totems—items that are now hugely important in both function and style. Many cars now offer “access systems” which incorporate proximity-sensing technology, allowing keys to stay in purses and wallets. Some have traditional metal keys that are inserted into ignition locks, some require that the fobs themselves be slotted into the dash, while others rely on pushbutton starters. A few even store their owner’s personalized settings (seat and mirror positioning, etc.), open windows and convertible tops, or start the vehicle from hundreds of feet away.

Back in the early Nineties, Mercedes introduced the first switchblade key fob, one that integrated lock/unlock buttons and a spring-loaded ignition key. As a pint-sized bit of design, it was fantastic—it was easy to use, distinctive, and best of all, it kept jagged metal from digging into thighs when parked in pants pockets. The German automaker’s modest invention unwittingly kicked off a sort of access arms race. The result has been dozens of different so-called “smart” systems, along with a variety of locking and engine-start schemes that is nothing short of staggering. All of which makes getting in and out of our fleet every day that much more interesting. It also makes it quite clear that while some methods work well, others border on maddening.

These days, when a vehicle arrives in our fleet with an ordinary separate key and fob, we actually get a little disappointed at the automaker’s lack of creativity. It’s easy to dismiss such minutia as snobbery, but a key is a first impression—a literal handshake of plastic, metal, and rubber. Rightly or wrongly, they now telegraph messages about a vehicle’s worth and ingenuity. The best examples work both as intuitive access instruments and as brand statements. Mini’s puck-shaped item is cheeky and reasonably functional—much like the cars they operate. Saab’s rubberized whistle key is suitably unusual and utilitarian, as iconoclastic as the brand itself. Bentley’s knurled metal casing feels appropriately rich and substantial thanks to its materials and heft. Because they are an everyday touchpoint for consumers, keys have become surprisingly important. We know of at least one otherwise rational consumer who admits they chose a Volkswagen simply because they liked the switchblade key, and we suspect there are many more just like them.

Unfortunately, some fobs are over-designed, compromising their utility—Mazda’s Smart Key is a good example. The plan was to create a thin credit card-like object that could be left in one’s wallet, using the vehicle’s proximity sensors to enable locking and unlocking. But by the time the necessary electronics were accounted for (buttons, battery, circuit board, etc.), the card was too thick to slip into most billfolds, forcing owners to use the string loop that resulted in a clattery oversized mess not unlike a gas station washroom key.

It isn’t just affordable automakers that add unnecessary complexity. Aston-Martin’s new crystal “Emotion Control Unit” key is spectacular in look and feel, but faintly ridiculous in function. Because the whole item slides into the dashboard and effectively becomes the starter button, this bit of jewelry must first be removed from a protective sleeve before use (the only keychain loop is on the sleeve, not the key). Worse, if you’re unfortunate enough to stall your car, you have to remove the ECU entirely, put in the clutch, and reinsert it—holding it down until the engine restarts. There’s nothing elegant about this sort of hokey-pokey.

On the flip side of the coin, Nissan/Infiniti has a particularly agreeable setup in its lozenge-shaped “Intelligent Key” fobs. There are pushbuttons on the doors to lock and unlock (no fears of glitchy hand-sensor technology here), and some vehicles start with a simple start button, while older and less-expensive models use a twist mechanism on the steering column—a concept that should be old hat for anyone that’s ever used a regular ignition key.

Many of our readers have questioned why such inventions exist at all, but the systems that work well have made believers out of us. The best are easy and convenient time-savers, keenly appreciated whether ambling to the car with armfuls of groceries or when hurriedly exiting the in-law’s driveway. Keyless systems have design benefits as well: they free up valuable dashboard real estate, prevent jangling keys and scratched plastics, as well as potentially ugly crash-related injuries from metal objects jutting out of the dashboard.

If there’s an elephant in the room in all of this, it’s cost. Not only are keyless entry/start systems optional on most new cars, the associated cost varies wildly depending on the manufacturer.  Worse, there’s the not-so-small matter of replacing lost or broken fobs, as buying additional transponders routinely costs hundreds of dollars.

So… what’s next? Newer efforts point to the abandonment of the fob altogether. Aston’s timepiece partner, Jaeger-LeCoultre, has produced a watch that affords keyless entry and exit, and Nissan has been test-marketing a mobile phone in Japan with lock and unlock buttons. In the meantime, though, if this technology shakes out the way most normally do, the various keyless access and start systems will gradually evolve to a common standard that mimics the most commonly accepted systems. Let’s just hope that the best ones actually prevail.

Motor vividly.

Magazine Issue: Winding Road Issue 39